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Neil's Guardian Angel
After a fall from his horse leaves Neil Peters in need of around-the-clock care, he is forced to face a past he doesn't even remember. Ben Waters, the man constantly at his beside, doesn't even look familiar. So why does Neil feel there's more to the story when Ben introduces himself as Neil's legal guardian?
Ben's inappropriate feelings towards his ward once forced him to send Neil away. Now, Neil once again threatens Ben's control. Ben tries to push aside his desires as he helps Neil but they won't be shoved away this time. And soon he learns, reaching out to the man he still loves is the only way for both of them to come to terms with their pasts and their future.
Scarred
Zac Alben loved his life in Cattle Valley until he made the ultimate mistake and introduced his partner in life, Terry, to his on-the-job partner, Jakob.
Zac Alben loved his life in Cattle Valley until he made the ultimate mistake and introduced his partner in life, Terry, to his on-the-job partner, Jakob. He hoped the two men would hit it off, but he had no idea the meeting would forever change his life.
Scarred and broken, Zac shows the facade of a man on the mend. He returns to work, joins the community in celebrating Cattle Valley Days and wakes nightly in a cold sweat.
Pushed away at every turn, Jakob Cox still doesn't know what happened the night Zac nearly lost his life. Despite Zac's cold shoulder, Jakob takes it upon himself to drag the man he loves back into the land of the living.
General Release Date: 16th August 2010
Neil's Guardian Angel
Ben Waters finished the rest of his cardboard flavoured sandwich and sipped at yet another cup of coffee. The hospital cafeteria had become almost like a second home to him. It had been ten days since he’d received the late night phone call from Leo Burkowski informing him that his ward, Neil Peters, had been seriously injured in a fall from his horse. Serious, as it turned out, had been an understatement.
For days, Neil slipped in and out of consciousness. Now that he was finally awake, Neil was experiencing a good deal of amnesia. He seemed to remember his friend Leo and Leo’s partner Sammy, as well as the other folks from Cattle Valley that came to see him, but he didn’t remember Ben or his life before he moved to the small Wyoming town.
Worse, Neil’s physical mobility had been compromised by the severe blow to the head. The doctors hoped, with therapy, Neil would regain the use of his hands and his left leg, but so far the young man Ben had always known was practically helpless.
A hand landed on his shoulder, startling him out of his thoughts. He glanced up and smiled at Leo. “You scared me.”
“Sorry about that.” Leo set a fresh cup of coffee in front of Ben and took the chair across from him.
“I stopped into the room, but Neil’s napping. I figured I’d find you down here,” Leo said.
Ben nodded. “Thought I might as well grab something to eat while he slept.”
Leo traced the design on the outside of his cup with his finger. “Any change?”
“No.”
“And I suppose you still haven’t told him who you really are.”
“He knows I’m his legal guardian, but he still doesn’t remember me,” Ben admitted.
“Don’t you think you should tell him the rest?”
“The rest? What, like how I kicked him out of my life after he told me he loved me?” Ben shook his head. “If there’s a reason he doesn’t remember me, I figure that’s it.”
“You should tell him you love him.”
Ben finished off his original cup of coffee before pouring two packets of sugar into the one Leo had given him. “What good would that do? Maybe it’s better he doesn’t remember. I know how much I hurt him by pushing him away.”
“Why did you?” Leo asked. “I mean, you don’t have to tell me, but I know why Neil thinks you did it.”
Ben shook his head. “I know what Neil thought, but the age issue was only a small part of it.”
“Was it because you were his guardian?”
“Partly. I had my reasons. Things I won’t discuss.”
Leo nodded. “From what little he’s told me, I gather things were pretty damn bad at home.”
“You can’t even imagine what that boy went through. In the beginning, it seemed I called the cops at least once a week. They never seemed to do much.” Ben cleared his throat. “Did Neil tell you his mom was a dispatcher for the police department?”
Leo shook his head. “He never mentioned it.”
“Well, she had everyone fooled, including the Department of Social Services. It got to the point she threatened to move away. In my heart, I knew that I couldn’t let that happen. At least with Neil living next door, I was able to protect him as much as possible.”
“Sounds like you did all you could.”
“Not all. I found out after his mother’s death, beating him wasn’t all the woman’s boyfriends enjoyed doing to Neil.” Ben swallowed around the bile rising in his throat. “I knew Neil seemed to be unnaturally interested in learning about gay sex. I mistakenly chalked it up to him being curious about my open homosexuality. He never gave any indication he’d been violated, but I should’ve seen it. I should’ve known.”
“Bullshit. Now you’re being too hard on yourself.”
“I’ll never be as hard on myself as I deserve. Pushing Neil away seemed like the right thing to do at the time. Part of me was afraid I’d fallen in love with him for the wrong reasons as well. It wasn’t until after he left, and I didn’t hear from him, that I realised I loved him more than I’d ever loved anyone.”
Ben sighed and stood. “I need to get back up there. Neil may not remember me, but he’s gotten used to having me around. Once again, I’m like an old, ratty security blanket to him.”
Leo stood and clapped Ben on the back. “I have a pretty good idea that in his heart, he remembers exactly who you are. It just might take his mind a little more time to catch up.”
Excerpt From: Scarred
“Good morning, zipper face,” Zac Alben whispered to his reflection. He plugged in his electric razor and touched it to his left cheek. The left side was easy. He didn’t have to worry about being gentle like he did with the right.
Zac turned to the side like he did every morning, and began shaving off the dark overnight stubble. He hated the electric razor, it never shaved close enough for his taste, but his skin was still too sensitive for a real blade.
“Breakfast is on the table,” his father, Butch, called.
“Be there in a minute,” Zac returned. He ran his hand over his left cheek, satisfied. Before turning to shave the other side of his face, he took a moment to stare at his reflection in profile.
Although he’d never thought of himself as gorgeous, he’d always known he was good-looking. Perhaps it was karma that he’d lost whatever beauty he’d once possessed. Zac mentally said goodbye to the handsome man in the mirror and turned to fully face the mirror.
The right side of his face always took three times longer. He’d tried growing a beard shortly after the accident that had left him freakishly scarred, but quickly found it made the jagged scars more pronounced instead of the other way around.
A noise to his left got his attention. Zac noticed his father standing in the bathroom doorway. “Do you need in here?”
“No. Just wondered what was keeping you. Scrambled eggs suck if you let ’em get cold.”
“Well excuse me if I can’t get ready as fast as you can anymore,” Zac barked.
Butch shook his head and left without saying another word. Zac cursed himself. He needed to stop taking his anger and frustration out on his dad, a man who’d dropped everything to fly to Cattle Valley after Zac had almost lost his life.
He finished shaving and shoved the razor under the sink, knowing he wouldn’t be back to the house until Monday. It was Cattle Valley Days weekend, and Zac had volunteered to work through it, giving the other EMTs the time off.
Zac entered the kitchen of the cute bungalow he’d fallen in love with on sight and stood beside the table. “Sorry about that.”
Butch shook his head and took another bite of his bacon. “I’m getting used to it.”
“Yeah, and that’s the problem. I need to stop taking my mood out on you or else I’m going to run you off.” Zac took a seat and reached for the salt and pepper.
“I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that,” Butch began.
Zac could tell by the look in his dad’s eyes he was leaving. “When’re you going?”
“My flight leaves Tuesday morning. I thought I’d stick around this weekend and see what all the fuss is about first, though.”
Zac nodded. Cattle Valley Days had always been a big celebration, but since the grandstand collapse the previous year, they were expecting the crowd-size to double with out-of-town guests. Zac knew most of the strangers who’d show up were good people, but there would be the inevitable crowd of morbid folks coming to see the site of the worst disaster in Cattle Valley’s history.
“Sammy’s off today and tomorrow. You should give him a call.”
“Oh, I’m sure he’ll be with his fella. I don’t mind wandering around on my own.”
Zac shook his head. “Leo works today, so Sammy’ll probably be thankful for the company.”
Butch shrugged noncommittally and continued eating. “Jakob called again this morning.”
Zac’s head popped up from concentrating on his breakfast. He hated that his first reaction to Jakob’s name was always one of excitement. Zac schooled his features quickly. “What’d he want?”
“To know if you were on shift today. I told him you were working all weekend.”
Zac went back to his cold eggs. “That all he wanted?”
“Well, he asked how you were doing, and how I was doing.” Butch set down his fork and leaned his forearms against the edge of the table. “You ever gonna tell me why you keep pushing that boy away?”
“Nope. That’s between us. Believe me, it’s better this way.” His appetite gone, Zac stood and carried his plate to the sink. He scraped the uneaten food down the disposal and set his plate in the dishwasher.
“Stop by the firehouse if you get bored.” Zac gave his dad a quick kiss on the top of his cleanly shaven head. “I’ll call ya later.”
“Be safe,” Butch said.
Zac grabbed his duffle and walked out the door. On the front porch he stopped and took a deep breath. It was going to be a scorcher of a day. Thankfully he’d be either in the air conditioned firehouse or riding around in the ambulance.
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